Ten things I don’t like in romance novels
I love to read romance novels. They are often described as perfect escapism, and they are, but for me it’s deeper. I love to read a story that has a happy end, even though it may not seem that way half way through the book.
I love to read the development of a relationship, and the way the characters slowly mesh their lives together.
I also love that in romance novels you get to dive deep into the character’s heads, you get to see their insecurities, and the way they deal with all those big feelings.
I’ve read romance for most of my life, and I've read most genres of romance except for dark romance. But there are some things that are an immediate turn-off when I’m reading romance, and I thought I would write a blog post about it, because I’m in a punny mood :)
This is all meant to be fun, and not written to cause offence. So having said all that, here’s the list, in random order, as I'm writing them as I think of them.
- Non con. This may be my most hated thing of all. I've read a book series that everyone loved. In book 1, the female main character did something unspeakable to the male main character. I hated that so much that I just couldn’t love the book as much as everyone else seemed to do. Then in the next book I read in the series, the male main character forces the female main character to have sex with him... I see that series have a pride of place on so many bookshelves and I just can’t.
- Unresolved enemies to lovers. They hate each other and have good reason to. Then all of a sudden *poof* the reasons are gone and they are in love and all is right. NO! I want to see fights about the unresolved things, I want them to deserve each other, dang it!
- Giant men with tiny partners. I read both m/f and m/m and let me tell you, I get SO sick of the romance where the partner is a teeny tiny thin critter that can hide behind lamp posts, and the partner is a giant. “Oh I love it when you are lying on top of me” is such a lie! You suffocate and die if that happens.
- Cardboard villains. There is a girl who just hates the heroine and does everything to sabotage the heroine. Why? We get no clue. There’s a guy from hero 1’s past and he stirs up trouble with hero 2. Why? No idea? He just is hateful? No person is just hateful. There’s always a reason, even if the reason is stupid!
- May to December. Early 50s dude falls in love with 20 year old student, or son of best friend or or or. So many options. I just hate the inequality of those books. It’s always me the big guy who knows everything and you the guy who I can teach.
- Stupidly rich vs poor. “You don’t have to work to pay off your student loans!” “No, I have pride!” “Let me buy you stuff.” “No! I can buy my own things!” “Let’s go out. I will pay of course.” “No! I want to go to the super cheap restaurant I always go to and take you out.” Too much conflict for my taste.
- Too many characters. “Hello! I am the youngest son of 6, and I have five friends, who you have to get to know in great detail because they will have their own books. Oh and there is of course my boss and my annoying co worker who sabotages everything. Coffee?”
- Too much pining. Come on, it’s page 200. Tell the guy how you feel and if they don’t say yes, there are plenty others to focus on. Also, ten pages of inner dialogue on how you think he meant that one line he said that one time…? Come on!
- Insta love. No. Nope. No. No. No. I love pining (although not as much, see elsewhere in this list), I love the slow realisation of feelings. I love to get to KNOW characters and see it make sense that they fall for each other. But character a running into character b and saying I love you within a couple pages? Nope.
- Too much perfection. No one is perfect. No character should be either. To see a character being described as this perfect little being with no imperfections ever and who does everything right. Well, that makes me want to smack that person.
… and now I’ve written this list, I think of another one that is maybe even a top pet peeve.
I’m not going to change anything in my list, but just add this one:
- Third act breakup for no good reason. Character 1 instantly believing something a total stranger says about character 2, and then breaking up is something that makes me actually throw books in corners. I’ve actually skipped a couple of chapters because I didn’t even want to see the couple get back together again. Good reasons? Yes. Flimsy stupid reasons that are only written because the rules says that romance novels have to have third act breakups? No.