How can I write about joy?
In June I heard I have cancer, and ever since, my life has been a roller coasterā¦ So much so that only these past weeks Iāve been able to process.
All that time, I hardly wrote, no blog posts or short stories, at least, or, only one tiny one.
Every time I grab my laptop to write something, I feel the fears that my diagnosis brought on in full, and no word comes out.
Until now. Now I force myself and itās bleeding hard.
Then the other day I pulled a card from a new deck and asked what I should write about. The card?
Joy.
What the bleeding heck.
But then I actively started searching for it. Forcing it. Instead of sitting and staring at the ceiling for an inordinate amount of time, or watching something stupid just because I couldnāt get myself to commit to something more useful, I grabbed my art journal and supplies and started to work.
I had no patience for the supplies I didnāt really like, in fact, I threw out most of them, or donated them if they were in good shape, but for the rest? Only kept what brought me joy and kept those supplies near me.
And it worked. Gradually I brought myself from fear to joy and now I am writing this post.
And no, my cancer isnāt cured, I have no idea what the future holds, but today? Today I made art in my journal and that brought me joy.
Today I wrote my first blog post in months. Thatās what counts, to me.