I was just pondering why it’s taken me over a month to post here. I can tell myself I have excuses, having health issues wear me down to the bone, for instance, but is that really a valid excuse?

Was there no moment during the past month where i felt at least a bit normal, and where I could have written something?

Of course there was, but here is the problem: being stuck in negativity sucks up all energy and focus, and, if I’m honest, I’m way too used to just sit back and do something unproductive, like watching a show I’ve watched before.

It’s such an awful loop to be stuck in!

So how will I break that cycle?

First and foremost, I need to accept that my health sometimes sucks but dwelling on it doesn’t help me, most of all my mental health.

The second way, though, that’s going to be a big one: I need to force myself to write.

I wanted to set alarms at random intervals but that doesn't work for me. What does work is to just, like now, look at moments where I want to sit and watch something, and instead open my writing software and just keep my fingers moving over the keyboard.

That's it.

I need to start, and then have faith the words will come. Because they do. Always.