Neko

Sylvia's Studio

Letting go of a toxic "lesson"

Growing up, there was always a message on repeat in my life "other people have it worse."

It was my mom's way of getting me to stop complaining and do stuff, even when I was sick, or just feeling low.

She had grown up with that message, and for her it was normal, always keeping focus on that.

The problem with a statement like that, is that it has two meanings.

  1. Other people have it worse so you should stop complaining and focus on doing your work.
  2. Other people have it worse so you should be grateful for what you have.

#2 can be good, as focusing on gratitude is so important. This was why I kept the message going on repeat, ignoring the bad side effects of #1.

#1 made me do way too much, ignore too many health issues and, basically, it was so toxic.

I only recognised it when I HAD to focus on myself when my health was deteriorating.

Now, when I struggle with my health, and that message tries to replay itself, I just shut it down. I have no energy for such toxicity in my life.

I write my lists of things I'm grateful for, and then focus on how I need to take care of myself in that moment.

And that works so well, too.

Instead of "other people have it worse", I ask myself what I need in that moment to feel better.

It's infinitely hard, but boy, it's so healing.

#noodling