Every morning, an alarm chimes at 08:00, a reminder to take my meds.    I first take some pills, then stumble to the bathroom to use my inhaler, and then go back to the bedroom to take my vitamins.    It may sound silly, but for me that time is sacred, a moment to observe my life. I never talk, I never do anything other...

I used an app called Bear for taking notes, and when I did my once in a blue moon cleanup of Bear I realised something: most of my notes were useless. They were either links, random notes, blog posts I'd already put up, some quotes, an old list of ideas for new blog posts, posts for my dear creative soul series, and...

I fell down a video rabbithole today. The topic? Gen Z people getting sick of AI and algorithms and making changes in how they use technology. For most that meant simplifying drastically, sometimes buying singular technology like an mp3 player to focus their consumption. It was great to watch. It made me think on how I...

Growing up, there was always a message on repeat in my life "other people have it worse." It was my mom's way of getting me to stop complaining and do stuff, even when I was sick, or just feeling low. She had grown up with that message, and for her it was normal, always keeping focus on that. The problem with a...

I’ve just finished another Monday session at the PT, another one focusing on balance and core exercises, training my muscles to make me a functioning bipedal creature (instead of one losing balance stepping over a doorjamb, or doing mountain 3).  The exercises are tough, and I’ve recognised a pattern after just two...

I'm in bed, it's almost four o'clock. It's almost dark again because the weather is the level below grey. I haven't left the bed for most of the day, only left to have a shower and go to the loo and such. Just now I was reading, when a voice inside me said I should do something useful. I actually smiled. In the past...

I’m knitting a hat out of sock yarn. It’s very pretty, and I know the hat will be pretty when it’s finished.  I’ve just had to frog it, rip out a couple rows because I had missed a dropped stitch and needed to get it back in order again.   I don’t mind frogging, whatsoever. It’s rather meditative to frog, actually....

When I started this blog I thought I would post something every day.  I thought I’d post my wisdom and share things I learned.  The reality is that I haven’t posted in a week, despite the fact that I have several posts at the ready.  Thing is, the expectations I had are such a pressure, so much so that I don’t post....

At the start of October 2024, I was recovering from a long stay in hospital (almost two months in total) and I was so very tired. I had heard in September that I would most likely not get the surgery that would extend my life, and I was basically sent home with the message that the cancer would win and I would die...

I’m writing this in my local cafe, with a Bluetooth keyboard on the screen of my phone. Entirely convenient it is not, but that is not the point.  The point is that every time I enter this cafe,  every time I pull out my keyboard and set up my phone on a new Bear note, I’m writing up a storm.  In half an hour I write...

* I don't want to journal  * My handwriting SUCKS  * I don't think it helps me * I hate my words so much  * Why do I even do this?  * I could do so many other things  * Oh god, it is so stupid to write! Why did I never realise that?  Do these snippets of inner dialogue sound familiar? I really detest it when this kind...

  Yesterday, the weather forecast said it would rain all day. Lots of rain. All day.  And yet, it was one of those perfect “four seasons in one minute” autumnal days.  Rain, storms shaking trees that are barely hanging on to their leaves, clouds rushing by so fast, each second a snapshot to rival  the art of  the famous...

The meds I take every day have a lot of side effects listed, but thankfully I only am bothered by one: fatigue.    Not a normal one, but more like a brain fog?   Whatever it is, it has taken me a long time to get adjusted to that.    At first I gave in, even staying in bed constantly because even getting up was hard.   ...

So earlier this week I asked myself why I abandoned HTML/CSS for my website.I was catching up on reading the last couple of days of feeds when this post popped up in my feed reader (I have my blog in my feed reader  as an easy check to see if my feed still works).I was about to click next when a thought hit my head....

 So next week I have to go to the hospital for blood tests and my first post major cancer surgery checkup.       This morning I woke up so nervous about this that I have to remind myself of some stoic wisdom.    Specifically, this quote from Epictetus:      Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our...